Transitions.

Adjustment, change, acceptance, forgiveness, doubt, nerves, love, missing, regret, guilt, stability, thankfulness...These are just a few words that begin to describe the way i've been feeling the last week and a half since I've arrived back on American soil. Needless to say, it's been a transition and I'm sure it will continue to be.

My heart and my head just have not had time to line up. My heart, is most definitely still in Ethiopia. My head knows that right now being home is a good move. I need start my first grade position which I am so thankful and excited about, begin to save a bit of money, think about master programs, and get some experience in the classroom. I'm a smart girl, my head knows that it's right but this dang heart of mine. I'm just so sad. :(

I miss Ethiopia so much it's unbelievable. Almost daily, I'm brought to tears thinking about the people there and how I wish I could see them, even if just for the weekend. I am so blessed to have truly made a family in Ethiopia, but it breaks my heart that I chose to leave and was only able to give 10 months of my life there. So many people opened their homes and their hearts to me and I fell in love, and then had to walk right back out.

Everyday I find myself almost angry at people here. It might be my family members, best friends, or the strangers I encounter in passing. I find myself not caring to talk about the things I cared about before I left and constantly comparing my life here, to my life in Ethiopia. It just doesn't add up, it doesn't make sense. The indifference, the inequality. Where is God's justice? Where is God's love? Why can't we come together as a human race and make sure that ALL people have at least, food, water and shelter? I look around me at the excess, even in my own life,  I truly don't understand it. I hear people complain about their fancy phones, their cars, computers... and all I can think about are the orphans in YenegeTesfa or the students in the public primary schools who have SO little.

I don't know. Maybe in time it will make more sense? I need my idealist humanitarian to come to an agreement with my realist side...the dissonance may take a bit of time to settle and for my heart and head to stop fighting.  In the meantime, I get to be the teacher for a classroom of kiddos that are just starting to form their own thoughts and feelings about this world around them. My ability to shape those thoughts and feelings is pretty exciting and it' my goal they walk out of my classroom with knowledge about how big, but connected this world is.

In time, I know it will get better. The tears will stop flowing and my heart will stop missing Ethiopia as much as I do right now.  I just have to remember, izosh...be strong, chin up ;) Good things are to come, and I have a classroom of 1st graders waiting for me come September.


<3 

How lucky am I to have something so special that it makes saying goodbye this hard

Well, the day has come that I never thought would. This journey the last 10 months has been an incredible one with lots of ups and downs, and I've definitely learned more about myself that I thought I would. I've realized after living in Ethiopia for 10 months, the sky is the limit. Put me in rural Africa or a huge city like New York and I can make it work. I've learned to be resourceful, how to live without things like water and electricity, how to handle being really sick away from home, and how to make a family away from the one God gave to me. 

Saying goodbye to Gondar was one of the hardest things I've had to do. To be honest, it made me question if I was making the right decision to come back to the states to work vs. staying here in Ethiopia for another year. But, I think that living in Africa will come again. Not sure when, or using what avenue but I feel pretty positive this will not be the last time for me to spend an extended time in this continent and that I will see these people again. 

I am saying goodbye to one chapter, but hello to another. I have accepted a position at Morris Bye Elementary in the Anoka Hennepin District as a 1st grade teacher and cannot wait. Being a "real" teacher has always been my goal, and now it is reality. As difficult it was to say goodbye, I know that good things are in store for me.

Here are some pictures and descriptions of the people that meant so much to me. These were all taken the last few days. 

Last day of section 2 Classroom English. Teaching was a great part of the experience. 

The lovely Fikirte- she was my language tutor for the first 3 months I was here and became a great friend. 

Melishu, "Anateye" or "Mother dear" This woman was so amazing and we both cried when I left. If I ever needed anything, she was the lady to ask. Couldn't imagine my time without her. 

My favorites.

 Tigle, Aster, myself, Alaseb and Melishu. These women made my experience in Ethiopia.I believed this before I left, and even more now that I am onto the next adventure, but life isn't about where you are but about the relationships you build and WHO you're with.  These women helped to make my experience an amazing one. These women became my family. Words cannot express how much I am going to miss them and how guilty I feel for leaving. There is no doubt in my mind that these ladies were a gift from God to me, to make my homesickness, physical sickness and hardships of living in Ethiopia worth it. Love them so much and it was so hard to say goodbye.  

Betty and Aster- my Habesha sisters :) Aster is who I went with for Easter to her hometown in Dessie. Her sister Betty is 15 and such a fantastic young lady. Her English is fantastic. Aster is who I was closest to in my time at Gondar College. I became a part of her family and her mother even called me every once in a while to make sure her frenji daughter was doing ok. So fantastic. 

Goodbye Party! These boys are great- 4 guys I got pretty close to during my time. They were Mitch's (my peace corp neighbor) best friends and knew how to have a good time! 

Edom.

 My favorite 2 1/2 year old in Ethiopia. I am sponsoring her to put her through school because her mother can't afford it. She is so fantastic and walking away from this little girl was so hard. I can't imagine a mother's love for their child, especially when I realize how much I love this little one, and she isn't even mine. 

Usman and I at a going away party at Gelane's house :) 

This guy has been an absolute God send for me since I've been here. He is a peace corp volunteer with a year left after I leave. He deals with all my crazy emotions and is so great to spend time with. I'm thankful I haven't had to say goodbye to him quite yet, it will be the toughest one to say. We are heading to Italy together for a little R&R for 12 days, so it will be wonderful to spend some quality time together before me heading for US and him back to Ethiopia. 

Even after looking at these pictures it is so clear to me how blessed I have been with building relationships in the short time that I've been here. Thankful for what I've been given and what I've been able to build with my time here in Ethiopia. So bittersweet to open the next chapter, but excited to see what is in store :) 

<3 

The Good Life

Feeling thankful today. It's been a great start to the week and I even got to talk to my mom this afternoon on Skype for a bit :)

Can't get this song out of my head today.

<3 Happy Tuesday. 

Izosh...and Happy Easter my loves :)

Note: This blog post is all over the place, if you finish the whole things though, I promise it will come together ;) At least in my head it does, so that's what matters!

When I moved in to Gondar college, the first day I am lying if I said I wasn’t a bit horrified…especially at the bathroom situation, or lack thereof. I had been traveling since 4am that morning, with a years worth of luggage, then come to find out I have a dirty house with a shared public bathroom to use. I was ready to break down and cry. The Dean said ok, well, we’ll just take you to a hotel! And then, that was that….which to me was even worse. Here’s the new ferenji who is too good to stay where we are letting her. But, he insisted I go to the hotel…

It was me, 5 ladies I have never met before, my Peace Corp neighbor Mitch and my counterpart. As we go to the hotel, I was fighting back tears. I was so overwhelmed, didn’t want to stay in the hotel and didn’t know how to say no. I had no idea what anyone was saying to me...all I was trying to do was not to break down and cry. Some of the women noticed I had began to get teary eyed, and they said to me “Izosh, Izosh Liz” I finally got the nerve to just say no, that sleeping in my place would be just fine, and they continued to say “izosh” as the tears continued to well in my eyes.  I had no idea what it meant…that just made me want to cry more.

Turns out “Izosh” means, “Be strong, Chin up…” and continues to be one of my favorite Amharic words. It’s such a good word, isn’t it? It is used when things are hard to get through or someone is struggling. Could be used when someone passes away, a person is tired from work, is having a fight with a friend, or someone is just having a hard time carrying a jug of water. In any case be “Be strong and Chin Up” is my mantra for this experience in Ethiopia.

I’m so thankful that I have a Lord who has given me the ability to be strong because He is strong. “I come to the cross where love WAS defined, and that love, in turn defines my life.” It’s Easter weekend in the States, (next weekend for us here in Ethiopia) and I am just reminded of how incredible our Lord is, and how He has saved us while He died on the cross. The song in my head today is, Might to Save by Hillsong . “Take me as you find me, with all my sins and failures and fill my life again…” We must be strong, we must keep our chins up because our Lord IS mighty to save us from our burdens, from our sins and from our struggles...He died and rose again, for us. 

I’m not going to lie, this past week or so has been a rough one. Missing home, unsure of future events, tired of the daily inconveniences like no water….and then, I think of “Izosh” and even more, that I am saved because of Him.  Tonight, it hit me hard that so many people are struggling around me. Some in particular who are at home, you know who you are because we’ve talked recently, and others that I see here in Gondar on a regular basis. We all have our own mountains to climb and challenges to face. And to you, I say “Izosh” (or Izo if you’re a man)…Be strong…Keep your chin up. Remember that Our Lord saves, He is the author of salvation. He conquered the grave, so that we can be strong. 

Izosh…izosh :)

<3 

10 Things that have happened Lately... :)

I apologize my friends, I've noticed that I have not updated this blog in quite a while! Things here are quite busy, and to be honest writing my blog has fallen by the way-side. Time to get back on the horse :)

Here are 10 things that have happened lately, or will happen in the near future that can summarize how life has been over here in Ethiopia!

1. I've been experimenting with Ethiopian recipes in my house lately. (I'm turning into an Ethiopian they say) I've successfully made Shiro Tagabiono (pounded chickpeas in a thick hummus consistency. Eaten with Injera) AND for breakfast Kinche- Ethiopian Oatmeal. Delicious and Nutritious ;)

2. Booked tickets Home! July 15th I'll be in Minnesota! Counting down the days until I can hug my mom, and have some serious cabin time with my lovely sister :) (Dad, Tim and best friends..I guess I'm excited to see them too;) )

3. Successfully created an Early Grade Reading training manual. My biggest project lately has been training 20 college students who then went and trained primary school teachers in Gondar. We trained over 100 teachers, which means the training affected over 6,000 primary school students. Pretty neat, huh!?

4. Met Sisay- a 12 year old boy who ran away from home because he was being abused. The police took him back to his family, but his father denied him and said he did not want him anymore. He is now living on the streets in Gondar. I am working as hard as possible to try to find a place for him to live because he has no one. It breaks my heart, and I've shed many tears over the situation. He's also been lost for the last week and I can't find him on the street- continually praying for his safety and his future. Trying to do the best I can.

5. Frenji Time- The other foreigners in town and myself have been getting together the past few Sundays to make brunch together and enjoy and it's been lovely. So blessed to have them here. Onee of them also has awesome music, so I've taken a bunch of African music and I'm in love with it :) New music always makes me happy.

6. No Water...Yup, it's true. Still no water. I've decided it's a problem with the piping because the other places on campus will have water, but my house won't. It's been frustrating, but no use in always being upset about it.. Just trying to deal the best I can. I've come to a realization that it will be bucket baths until I leave..at least I have electricity to heat up water most of the time!

7. New Classes! Started the 2nd semester of classes. Teaching 2 sections of Classroom English. Basically a Classroom Management type class. It's great so far- the students are clever and anxious to learn from a native speaker. So far so good.

8. New Door! They FINALLY built a door in my house so that the bathroom is more accessible and closer to use. Truly a luxury. It's quite exciting that it's finished. It's funny though, because I tried to open the door today, and it doesn't work. hahaha..Oh Ethiopia ;) I'm hoping it's just stuck, or I havn't learned the "trick" of how to open it yet!

9. European Adventure! My friend and I have booked tickets are are traveling to Italy together when I leave. I can't wait to spend 12 day with him in Italy- it will be fantastic. We are visiting Rome, Venice, Siena and Sardinia. So excited. Afterwards, he is traveling back to Ethiopia(he is a peace corp volunteer here in Gondar) and I will travel on to Belgium, and Amsterdam. Then I will finally take the flight to USA. Exciting things to come :)

10. Applying for jobs and updating my resume. Since I'm coming home, I've decided that it's probably best to stay home for a while and teach in the states before my next adventure abroad. So that means, job searching and applications :) Just trying to keep my head up, it's a tough market out there.


Soooo....There ya have it! 10 things of what I've been doing lately...more to come soon.

Have a fantastic Easter! (I am craving Easter candy like crazy today!!)

<3

You know it's a good day with kids when they fall asleep on the way home..

This weekend I had the honor of going with Yenege Tesfa to a local beack town called Gora Gora, on the shores of Lake Tana, about an hour ½ away. My alarm went of at 6am, and we were on the bus on our way by 7. When I say “we” I mean all of the Yenege Tesfa kids, around 65 orphans ranging in ages from 7-17. All three shelters came, along with the staff, the house “mothers" and me. 

It was a great day. Once we got to the lake, the kids swam, played soccer, talked, sang songs, and played games all day long. The house moms made a delicious breakfast and lunch for us all. It was such a great day, and the kids could just be kids. When we all piled back onto the bus to head home, the kids were exhausted. Half of them fell asleep and their heads were bouncing around as we drove on the gravel road from the lake. You know it’s a good day, when the kids are so exhausted they fall asleep on the way home!

I’m so thankful to know the kids in Yenege Tesfa. I love being with them, I honestly think it’s my favorite part about living in Gondar. It’s just so clear to me how much they have impacted my heart.

 Here are some pictures of the day :)

<3

I have a confession...

Ok, I have a confession. I love fancy things. I have an inner beauty queen who loves to be pampered with manicures and pedicures, I love to eat at fancy restaurants and be in places that make me feel elegant and classy.

Sometimes this is hard when I’m living in Ethiopia.

Don’t get me wrong, I obviously did not come to Ethiopia to be pampered. I have a huge heart to serve and to do good in this world. If I got a phone call tomorrow and was asked to serve in Southern Sudan, Niger or Haiti I would do it in a heartbeat. This world needs people who are willing to go and serve in places where other people don’t want to go, and I feel like I have the ability to be one of those people. On the other hand, I love a good pedicure.

This weekend I traveled to a nearby lake town called Bahir Dar (about 3 hour bus ride from Gondar). I had to come because of work (a post that I will write about another day…a big project going on!) After the first night in a 10$ hotel which was clean, mildly comfortable, with luke warm water for showers…it just didn’t do it for me. I was craving an intensely hot shower, a pool to lay out by, and a bed that didn’t squeak when I turned over in the middle of the night. After living in Ethiopia for 5 months, is that really too much to ask!?

I decided to treat myself to a night at the Kuriftu. A resort and spa in Bahir Dar on the lakeside. A night comes with a complementary massage, manicure, pedicure, an amazing breakfast and delicious 3 course dinner. The rooms are incredible filled with a luxurious bed, a patio with a view of the lake and comfortable seating area and even a fire place to relax by at night. It might be a tiny bit out of my budget, but far less than what I would pay for a decent nights rest in the states! I just decided to use my American money and go for it…that’s what credit cards are for, right!? (Just kidding Mom and Dad, I used my debit card…and I promise it wasn’t that expensive;)

It just so happens that we got lucky this weekend. On Saturday night my friend and I had a fire in our room. A woman comes in and sets it all up in the fireplace. We ordered a glass of wine to our room…lovely, right? Ha…well supposedly our room was the only one in the resort where fires in the fireplaces DO NOT work! 10 minutes later and our beautiful room was filled with fire smoke. Whoops…they probably should have told us that was going to happen. Our smokey room led to changing rooms at 9:30 at night and the next morning the manager (from Boston) gave us a free nights stay, without the interruption. So here I am, looking out on Lake Tana on a relaxing porch writing this blog! I guess the smoky room was worth it.   

It’s interesting for me. When I’m at places like this, being 100% honest, I love it. The last 10 days in Gondar I’ve had no water and the electricity has been out every other day. Some luxury is good for a girl every once in a while. Right?

Maybe I’m just trying to justify to myself that it’s ok to sleep here when there are countless number of kids sleeping on the streets tonight in the same city I’m visiting. The disparity is so clear to me, especially when I’m at places like this. I guess I’m still trying to figure out how what I truly think and feel about that disparity which is going to be there regardless of if I spend my money for a night at the Kuriftu or not. It’s a hard balance to master. For me, it’s being able to mindlessly enjoy while other boys are sleeping in flour sacks…I guess I’m not sure what to think.

This weekend has been fantastic. I’ve gotten so much work done, feel 100% relaxed and have gotten my fill of luxury. At the same time, the luxury takes a toll on my conscience...

Hope you all had a lovely weekend,

<3